Questions and Answers about Health
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and
that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything
wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not
make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend
the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live
longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and
vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a
cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism
of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you
100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable
products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is
distilled wine, that means they take the water out of
the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness
that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your
ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio
is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in
a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy
is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days
in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How
could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little
soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets
bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a
bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO...... Cocoa beans! Another
vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales
to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
-----------------------------------
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you
may have had about food and diets.
life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and
that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything
wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not
make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend
the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live
longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and
vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a
cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism
of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you
100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable
products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is
distilled wine, that means they take the water out of
the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness
that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your
ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio
is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in
a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy
is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days
in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How
could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little
soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets
bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a
bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO...... Cocoa beans! Another
vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales
to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
-----------------------------------
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you
may have had about food and diets.
posted by Sids at 4:59 PM
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