Oneliners from Maurizio

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any
firearms with me. I said, "What do you need?"

NASA reports that galaxies are speeding away from earth at 90,000 miles
a second. What do you suppose they know that we don't?

I asked my mailman why my letters were all wet... he said "postage
dew".

Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.

The only thing that wakes you up faster than coffee is spilled coffee.

Odd that when a house burns down, the only things left standing are the
chimney and the fireplace.

Only in America do we shop at places with limited parking, overpriced
items, and long lines and insultingly, call them convenience stores.

We're going to have a terrorist attack, but we don't know where or
when. I think you could say the same thing about tornadoes.

I went to see Pavarotti once and I'll tell you this much, he doesn't
like it when you join in.

How dangerous could a fax be, if the pen is mightier than the sword and
a picture is worth a thousand words.

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing,
the birds are singing and the lawn mower is broken.