Euro English

The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European
Union rather
than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government
conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as
"Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this
will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This
should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will
make words
like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated
changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of
double letters
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent
"e" in the
languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as

replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a
reil sensibl
riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
like zey vunted
in ze forst plas

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