Cricket moments!!

"Man, it don't matter where you come in to bat, the score is still
zero."
-Viv Richards to Sunil Gavaskar at Madras 1983.

Gavaskar had decided to relinquish his opening position and come in at
no 4 for that test. But, Malcolm Marshall fired out Anshuman Gaekwad and

Dilip Vengsarkar for ducks, setting the stage for Gavaskar to walk in at

0/2. And he thought there would be less pressure!

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Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv missed a
superb outswinger, and Thomas said "It's red, round and weighs about 5
1/2 ounces."
Next ball Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground for 6 and replies,
"Greg, you know
what it looks like. Go ahead and find it!"

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Then there's this wicketkeeper who quietly asked the new batsman: "So
how's your
wife, and my kids?"
Guess who.........Rod Marsh....to Ian Botham!!

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New Zealand vs South Africa:
Daryll Cullinan was batting, attempting a comeback from a complete
bamboozling from
Warne in earlier games. Cullinan played the first ball from Chris Harris
very carefully
Back down the pitch, and keeper Parore yelled out "Well bowled Warnie!"

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Australia fighting for a win nearing the end of a Test Match, Fred
Trueman at the crease.
The Aus captain has plenty of close in fielders, whose shadows fall on
the wicket.
Fredie finds this objectionable. 'Ere, if you lads don't back off, I'll
appeal for bad light!"

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The best of the best
(Incident described in "From the Pavilion End" by Harold "Dickie" Bird)

"Bomber" Wells, a spin bowler and great character, played for
Glocuestershire and
Nottinghamshire. He used to bat at No.11 since one couldn't bat any
lower. Of him,
They used to paraphrase Compton's famous words describing and equally
inept runner;
"When he shouts 'YES' for a run, it is merely the basis for further
negotiations!"
Incidentally, Compton was no better. John Warr said, of Compton "He was
the only person
who would call you for a run and wish you luck at the same time."
Anyway, when Wells
played for Gloucs, he had an equally horrendous runner as the No.10.
During a county
match, horror of horrors.......both got injured. *Both* opted for
runners when it was
their turn to bat. Bomber played a ball on the off, called for a run,
forgot he had a
runner and ran himself. Ditto at the other end. In the melee, someone
decided that a
second run was on. Now we had *all four* running. Due to the confusion
and constant
shouts of "YES" "NO", eventually, *all* of them ran to the same end.
Note - at this point
in time, the entire ground is rolling on the floor laughing their
behinds out. One of the
fielders - brave lad - stops laughing for a minute, picks the ball and
throws down the
wicket at the other end. Umpire Alec Skelding looks very seriously at
the four and
calmly informs them "One of you buggers is out. I don't know which.
*You* decide and
inform the bloody scorers!".